My husband's unfortunate luck.

This is for Jennifer, who wanted to know more about David's unfortunate luck:

When I met my husband, Davy, he seemed like the normal, guy next-door-type fella'. I was a little under-impressed at his penchant for sleeping through Introductory Physics with Dr. Estalot three days a week, but by all accounts, he was a pretty nice guy. I usually ended up at the bar where he worked part time, and we got to know each other better from there. I learned a few valuable bits of information about Davy:

1. He is extremely smart. He slept through physics, because he was bored stiff. He finished the class with a near 100 average.

2. He is the consummate nice guy.

3. He has, if not the worst, then certainly the most unusual luck of any person I have ever met.

He has a rod in his leg from a little incident that occurred at a party thrown by his friends. He was at said party, having a good time with the boys, letting the good times roll. He was feeling magnanimous, so he gave his last beer to a stranger. In retrospect, he probably wishes that he'd just kept that one for himself.

The guy was a crackhead loosely connected with the people throwing the party. He ended up starting a fight with a friend of David's, and his friends jumped in as well. David has a very strong sense of honor, and he couldn't be havin' those guys jumping on his friend. Yep. He jumped in the mix, and the crackhead popped him one in the jaw for his trouble. Davy took a bad step in his cowboy boots and broke his leg.

If you really want to question his unusual luck... He once stuck his hand in the microwave, and it came out bleeding and cut to the bone. There was nothing in the microwave that could have cut him. It was like the immaculate conception of cuts.

No joke.